Among so many, being alone has a lot of negative associations. We have all felt a little stranded and a little unloved. We have all felt that hollow feeling in our chest when a relationship ends (and then you do that thing where you play sad songs in your car on purpose just to give yourself another excuse to cry–don’t lie–we’ve all done it) and felt that slightly envious pang of others finding the love and companionship that you want in your life.
Whether it’s not being a relationship or simply not having anyone you enjoy to go out to dinner with, sometimes we do whatever we can to avoid those sad feelings. We seek instant solutions to stop the bad feelings as soon as possible, often by filling the empty space with people and things that are of less value than you know you need and want. There is so much we do to avoid feeling any pain at all and by not allowing ourselves to feel any misery, we simply delay growth and further understanding of ourselves.
For a long time, I have tried to grow my relationship with myself. I can now honestly say that I adore being alone. Now, don’t get me wrong–I want more than anything to find the person I am supposed to be with, that I’m crazy for, and continue to build a beautiful life with that person–but why are we sometimes tempted to devalue the time before we have that? I have gained so much strength and vibrance by learning to explore, live, and love all on my own.
Don’t wait for this perfect scenario in your head to do all the things that make life so wonderful. Go to a movie alone, take yourself out to an amazing dinner, and travel to new places as your own companion. Freya Stark, a British explorer and travel writer, once said “To awaken alone in a strange town is one of the pleasantest sensations in the world.” Eagerly await having more but in the meantime, still have it all.
Disclaimer: One more thing–still do things with your family and friends. By no means is this post encouraging complete and utter isolation. Don’t blame me if you become socially inept as a result of my advice.
